Stranded
by DeLyse
Summary: Sheldon and Penny end up stranded in the wilderness with only Sheldon's 72-hour survival bag and their wits to save them. Can they hold out until a rescue team arrives? Will help ever come?
1. Splashdown

_**Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory was created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. I claim no rights to the show or its characters, and I am not making any money by posting this fic. That goes for every chapter I post from here on out.**_

* * *

_**A/N: **__Warning: this is gonna be a bit long-winded. Skip ahead to the un-italicized part to read the story._

_So, this is my first Big Bang Theory fic (not counting a one-shot I did before). I am extremely nervous about how it will be viewed. Sheldon is a complex character, and on top of that, has seemingly endless knowledge about everything – I, however, do not. This will make writing him quite a challenge (as I'm sure most of you BBT writers out there already know), and I'd like to warn readers now that when I write him, he will not be using as many colorful words an explanations as you're used to. His personality will _not_ change, though, I can guarantee you that. He will still be the same Sheldon you know and love. I will just have to get a little creative about his dialogue, is all._

_Also, I'm going to go ahead and consider this fic non-canon. Reason being, because any story where Sheldon and Penny end up together, romantic or not, is considered non-canon. According to Wiki, Chuck Lorre is opposed to them being together, saying, "We've stumbled into creating a character who has chosen a lifestyle for himself that is unique. And I don't see any reason to modify it." This is a Shenny fic, so they will end up together – however, I will strive to stick to their characters as much as possible._

_A HUGE thank you to neverfading for setting me straight with AU vs. non-canon. You're the best! =]_

_And here we go..._

* * *

Chapter One  
Splashdown

The small plane tore through the air, jarring violently, eliciting another ear piercing shriek from Penny. Never before had she had so much adrenaline coursing through her veins as she did now. There were no thoughts in her mind, only the terrifying realization that she was about to die.

"Hold on!" the pilot cried from the front of the little cargo plane.

Penny didn't need to be told twice. She was already strapped into her seat, gripping the sides with white knuckles. Beside her, Sheldon's head lolled and bounced with the turbulence. He had feinted just moments before.

The plane crossed a long stretch of land, the tips of trees scratching over its bottom, before running out over a large expanse of water. Seconds seemed like minutes, and yet it all happened so fast. Penny continued to scream as she watched the nose of the plane come closer and closer to the wavy surface of the lake – it may have well been a damn ocean to her, for all she could see was water in front of them. Then they hit the water, _hard_, and the belly of the plane skipped along the surface twice before beginning to slow dramatically, sending a large wall of spraying water up and over the nose of the plane.

Only when they had completely stopped did Penny's screams fade.

_I'm alive…_ She looked around the interior, at the passed out Sheldon to her left, and to the pilot up front, whom was hunched forward and silent. The plane was afloat, for the moment, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they were all under water.

_Think, Penny. Think! _She unstrapped herself from the seat, wincing as a hot, stinging pain shot up the back of her neck. She might have pulled something from being jerked around during their landing. No matter. She had to act now. Floatation devices were tucked neatly under the seats – she quickly got to work yanking the one beneath her own seat out and fumbled to put it on. There were so many little hanging straps and buckles. She ignored the little ones and focused on the main three that traveled up the front of the vest, fastening each one into place, and then she turned to Sheldon. He was still unconscious.

She tried calling his name while shaking his shoulders. "Sheldon. Sheldon! Please, wake _up_." But the physicist wouldn't budge. Water was beginning to seep slowly into the floor of the plane now.

Whimpering, Penny dug out the life vest from beneath Sheldon's seat and undid his seat buckles. She leaned him forward a little bit, letting his head rest on her chest, and worked to get his long arms through the arm holes of the floatation device. Once it was on him and strapped securely, she hurried up to the front of the plane, where the pilot was. She shook his shoulder and leaned down to look at him, but jumped back with a horrified gasp when she saw the blood running down the side of the man's face.

Water steadily filled the interior. It was up to at least an inch now, where she stood. Time was running out. Hot tears built up in her eyes just from the sheer volume of fright she was experiencing, but she choked them back and forced her trembling body to move. She searched beneath the pilot's seat for his life jacket, but nothing lay beneath him. Her eyes darted frantically about. Where did the pilot keep his life vest?

From behind her, Sheldon stirred awake.

"…Penny… Penny, what's going on?"

She turned. There was growing alarm on his face as his mind worked to grasp the situation. She hurried to him, tripping over her own feet, but caught herself before she could fall.

"Sheldon, you have to help me!" Her voice was high and cracked as she spoke. It sounded alien to her own ears. "I can't find his life jacket – we're going to have to pull him."

"Penny, I can't _float_," Sheldon croaked back, his demeanor shifting to one of panic. "I can't even swim! I did take an online class-"

"-Sheldon, you have a life jacket – you can float!" Penny said. "Just lay back, kick your legs, and hold on to one of his arms. I'll take the other." She made her way back to the front, where the pilot was still slumped forward, unconscious. She released him from the straps holding him to his seat and slung one of his arms over her shoulder. She could hear Sheldon moving behind her, his shoes making gentle splashing noises in the water. "Sheldon, are you going to come help me?"

"Wait, Penny."

She looked back at Sheldon, whom was now hunching by the door of the plane, a small tote in his hand. "Sheldon, we don't have much _time_."

"Penny, we have to open the door first," he said. His dark, blue eyes were wide, his body shaking with adrenaline, but his voice was calm, in control. "If we wait until the plane is fully submerged beneath the surface, we will also have to wait for the interior to fill up with water to equalize the pressure on the door. We must open the door _now_, while we still can."

"Okay, okay!" Penny dropped the pilot's arm and splashed over to Sheldon. The water now reached her ankles. "What do I do?"

"Just push when I say to," he replied, and began fumbling with the latches on the door. "Ready? _Push_."

Together they put their shoulders into it, but the door did not move.

"Okay, again. _Push_."

Again, they slammed their shoulders into the door – harder this time. It popped open. Sheldon pushed it all the way out as water rushed in over their feet.

"Okay Sheldon, help me get the pilot out," Penny said, making her way to the front of the plane again. She looked back, and to her horror, Sheldon only stood there, hands on the edges of the doorway, staring at her. Was he really thinking of just leaving without helping them? Was he that heartless?

"Penny-"

"-_Sheldon Lee Cooper_, you get your _ass_ over here _right now_ and help me!" she screamed at him.

For a moment, there was only the sound of rushing water, then Sheldon swallowed thickly and hurried over to help her.

Together, they were able to pull the pilot from his seat and drag him to the open door. The plane was beginning to tip slightly sideways, meaning if they didn't move faster, their only exit would roll under their feet and they would have a much harder time trying to escape.

Penny dropped down to sit off the edge of the doorway of the plane and pushed herself off and into the dark, cold water. She swam around to face Sheldon and grabbed a hold of the pilot's underarms. Sheldon helped push while she pulled, and the pilot's body slid into the water. Penny's head went under as the added weight pulled her, but her vest took her back above the surface. She put her arm around the man's neck and pulled him with her as she began swimming out toward a large body of land just ahead. It looked as though she wouldn't need the physicist's help pulling the man after all.

"Are you coming Sheldon?" she asked, chancing a peek back. She stopped abruptly.

Sheldon stood at the edge of the threshold, his face white, the tote in his left hand and his right gripping the side of the doorway. He looked as though he was about to faint again.

"Penny!" he called out. He looked so much like a child calling for its mother. "Penny, I can't!"

"Sheldon, jump out!" she cried back, her voice breaking.

"Penny, I told you, have a higher than normal body density – if I run a bath too deep, I drown. What makes you think I can jump into _this_?"

Penny flipped around and began swimming back, struggling to keep the pilot's head above the water. How the hell was she going to get Sheldon to safety, too? She stopped three feet from the plane and waded in the water.

"Sheldon, just get in the water. I'll pull you," she said, trying to keep afloat by leaning back. "Stay if you want, but you're gonna end up in the water anyway."

The water was up to Sheldon's knees now, and rapidly rising as the plane sunk faster. His breathing was erratic. He was really beginning to make Penny worry.

"Sheldon, _please_, come down!" she begged, spitting out water. "You will float, I promise."

And finally, it seemed his fear of going down with the plane superseded his fear of not being able to stay above the surface, and he gingerly plopped into the water, where he promptly began flailing. Penny swam closer and held out a hand to him. When he felt her arm, he gripped it and yanked her down. Her cry was cut off as her head submerged, and she began jerking and flipping about, trying to wriggle free of him. When she was free, she kicked far away from him and gasped for air above the surface. She brought the pilot's head up with her and once again tried to keep him above the water.

"Sheldon, _calm down_!"

"Penny, help!"

"Sheldon, you're fine. Stop moving. You're floating!"

Miraculously, after a few more moments of panic, Sheldon listened to her and stilled. He looked over at her with one eyebrow cocked. "Yes… I suppose I am."

"C'mon," Penny said, spitting out more water. Her legs were beginning to tire already.

The two began to swim away from the sinking plane, Penny doing a sort of half-hearted side stroke and using her other arm to pull the pilot with her, and Sheldon doggy paddling a few good feet behind her, his tote floating along beside him. Penny lead the way, moving directly for land, which, though visible from where they were at, was still a good deal away. Penny ignored the tightness building in her calves and pushed on, breathing hard. The shore slowly loomed closer with every kick.

It took them several minutes of swimming until finally their feet could touch bottom. Penny trudged forward, pilot in tow, looking back every so often to make sure Sheldon was following and that he was okay. She felt shaky. She didn't think it was from the cold water, for even though her skin felt like ice, her blood was warm from exertion.

When the water became more shallow and the pilot's backside met the rocky bottom, Penny had to turn around and drag the man with both hands, moving backward onto the shore. Sheldon followed on a steady path behind them, the water up to his knees, then his calves, and once he was ankle-deep, Penny realized she was out of the water. She kept pulling until the man was at least seven or so feet away from the water, and released him, panting. She took a moment to double over, hands on her knees, wet, stringy blonde hair hanging around her face like a curtain. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, and her legs felt as though the blood in them had been replaced with battery acid.

Sheldon made it onto shore and walked forward numbly, as though in a slight daze. Penny couldn't tell what he was thinking, but she knew exactly what he was feeling. Shock. Total comprehension. Acceptance of the situation; and then another wave of shock. She watched the tall, lanky physicist wobble a bit, and then slowly lower himself to the ground. He sat on his rump, facing the lake. His chest was heaving as bad as Penny's, but his breathing sounded more strained than hers.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

He didn't answer at first, not right away. "Penny," he wheezed, "I don't even know how to begin…to answer that question."


	2. Canada Conundrum

Chapter Two  
The Canada Conundrum

Sheldon put his medical face mask in his left hand with the bottle of Lysol and rapped on the door with his right.

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny."

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny."

"It's open!" Penny called from inside.

Sheldon opened her door, briefly wondering when the last time she'd taken a Clorox wipe to the handle was (if ever – a shuttering thought). Penny sat on her small, teal sofa, shaking a bottle of fingernail polish.

"Penny, I have wonderful news. I was invited to attend a lecture at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics in Canada, where Dr. Edward Witten will be giving a lecture on supersymmetric quantum field theories."

The blonde stared at him for a moment with a half smile. "…Good for you, sweetie!" She went back to shaking up her nail polish.

It wasn't hard to excite his temper, Sheldon admitted (a number of things could set him off), but Penny had a particular way of rousing it. She acted as though his amazing news held no importance whatsoever, and that the interest of her precious nail polish surpassed anything else he had to say. He would have to cut straight to the chase with her, as usual. He cleared his throat and said, "I don't think you understand. You're coming with me."

Penny looked at him and froze, one hand holding the nail polish, the other about to twist off the top. "What?"

"I said, you're coming with me."

"Why?"

"Leonard is sick, Raj won't go with me, and I refuse to ask Howard."

Penny tucked her blonde hair behind her ear, thinking. "What about Amy?"

"She can't take the time off. Also, she has no interest in going."

"What makes you think _I_ can go?"

Sheldon blinked. The woman didn't even _try_ to think it all the way through before she asked her questions. "Penny, you work at the Cheesecake Factory. Your presence won't be missed for one weekend. I doubt they'd even notice you're gone."

Penny sighed and unscrewed the top of her nail polish. "Sheldon, I _can't_. I can't afford it."

"Penny, I can't fly alone. You have to come with me."

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, I can't."

Sheldon fell silent. His mind began to race, like a computer in search mode, going through facts and information stored all over his brain, trying to find anything he could use to help him. Penny was not bound by any agreements, other than a few minor verbal ones – none of which could help him in this situation. _Drat_, he thought. She was his last chance. What was he going to do?

"What about Bernadette? Or maybe someone at work could go with you?" Penny said, sliding a silky layer of black lacquer onto her thumbnail.

"Bernadette isn't a friend. Aside from Leonard and Raj, no one at work is my friend. I want to go with a friend."

"Why won't you ask Howard?"

"He is a trusted acquaintance, not a friend. I want to go with a friend."

He waited. He watched her paint the nails on her forefinger and middle finger. He could tell by the way the muscles in her jaw tightened that she was thinking this over. There was still hope.

She looked up, her lips slightly pursed. "I'll think about it, Sheldon. Maybe I can switch shifts with someone at work-"

"-I'll go print off a copy of the itinerary," Sheldon blurted, hurrying to put the medical face mask over his mouth and nose. "And by the way, don't go over there, unless you want to risk catching Leonard's rhinopharyngitis. And don't suddenly decide to get back together with him again – that's a sure fire way to catch it."

Penny sighed. "We're not getting back together again, don't worry about it."

Once Sheldon's face mask was secure, he turned, reached for the handle of Penny's door, and froze. He had a full can of Lysol. Why hadn't he thought of that earlier? He popped the top off and sprayed a healthy layer on the doorknob, then opened the door and sprayed the handle on the other side, all the while ignoring the look Penny was more than likely giving him – he couldn't tell without looking, but he had a feeling. She always seemed to look at him with that dense primate look of confusion. He left with a quick goodbye, and reminded himself he would have to wash his hands thoroughly once he returned to his apartment.

. . .

. . .

Sheldon's first order of business was to stabilize the pilot. With Penny's help, they dragged the man further up onto the sandy part of the shoreline and away from the water, right at the baseline of the trees. The water had washed away the man's blood, revealing a gash on his temple. The flesh around the wound was already beginning to swell and darken. Next, he checked to make sure the man still had a pulse. He held the pads of two fingers against the man's inner wrist and located his radial artery. It was weak, but it was there.

The next order of business was to take an inventory check of his 72-hour disaster survival kit. Sheldon walked over to the small, square, navy blue tote, about the size of a large purse, and squatted, unzipping it in one fluid swipe. He was always prepared for any disaster – be it earthquake, plane crash, or zombie apocalypse. Inside was a metal match and a small, flat plate of steel he had ordered off eBay (capable of emitting 5,500°F sparks, the internet stated), along with a compass, a two-bladed jack knife, two water purification tablets, a thirteen gallon industrial strength garbage bag folded neatly, a bottle of antihistamines (45 soft gels), a bottle of your common, everyday analgesics (50 tablets), a box of band aids in varying size and shape, duct tape, a small vial of Purell hand sanitizer, and a travel-size box of Tampax Pearl, regular absorbency.

Penny was squatted before him, looking down into the bag with her arms wrapped around her knees like a curious young girl peeking across a shoulder at something interesting. Though, her presence was annoying, she was not violating his space, so Sheldon kept quiet while he took inventory.

"Ooh, tampons. You really did come prepared," Penny said, snorting.

"They're not for you, if that is what you are saying."

"What?" Penny's mouth hung open in disbelief. "Why else would you need them?"

"A tampon with a plastic applicator has numerous uses when it comes to survival."

"Pfft. And here I thought _I_ was the junior boy scout."

Sheldon looked up at her, brow raised. "You're female."

"Yeah, well, that was a secret up until the day my hat fell off and my boy scout leader saw my long hair." She rested her chin on her knees and sighed. "I was kicked out. My dad got so mad at me…"

Sheldon ignored her babbling and zipped up the bag. He stood and took a good look at their surroundings, committing it all to his eidetic memory.

They were on a rocky cove of sorts. The small, rounded stones and pebbles extended out from the water onto land about three feet, then melded into gritty sand and dirt for ten feet, before meeting a wall of forest trees. The lake stretched out pretty far, but the edge of the shore on the other side was still visible. Everywhere his eyes rested, he found tall trees, both thick and thin, and cropped densely together for miles and miles. There was no hint of civilization anywhere nearby. The situation looked grim.

"Where do you think we are?" Penny asked. Sheldon glanced back at her. She was bathed in a patch of sunlight that caused her drying hair to glow like honey. Her arms were wrapped protectively around her midsection, and her expression was one of anxiety.

"Somewhere in Canada most likely," he replied, looking away. "Until I can calculate where, I'm not sure of our exact location." He looked at his watch, which was synched to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado, and accurate to one-tenths of a second; a fact he was very proud of. It was no longer keeping near-perfect time anymore, though. There was water trapped between the protective glass covering and the clock itself. It read 2:12. "Penny, I will need you to gather firewood. We will be staying at least two nights here."

"And what are you going to do?"

"What I do best. Think."

"Oh, so what – I'm your little trained monkey now? You gonna make me fetch everything for you?"

"Penny, don't be preposterous. You're not a trained monkey." He looked away. "A trained monkey would do a better job following simple commands."

"Sheldon, let's get one thing straight." Penny crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, her demeanor alight with attitude. "We're stuck in this _together_, so if I have to do something, you should do something, too. We should be working _together_, as a team."

Sheldon's jaw clenched. The woman was nearly impossible to deal with. But instead of arguing further, he looked up at her and sighed through his nose. "Alright. What do you propose?"

"I just want you to do something, too. I don't want to be the only one working."

"That's fine, Penny. We'll get to that bridge when we cross it. For now, there is only one physical task – the errand of collecting firewood. Now, would you rather I do it, and you can get the next task?"

Penny sighed and let her arms swing loosely at her sides. "No. I'll get your stupid firewood."

"Alright." Sheldon pushed the sand around until he had a nice dip for his butt, then sat himself down. He wiggled a bit, making a further impression in the sand, and then nodded satisfactorily. "Oh, and don't get lost. If you do, you're on your own."

"Yeah, _thanks_," she said, making her way toward the wall of trees.

_Was that sarcasm_, he wondered? He shook his head. Never mind. He had his own set of tasks to complete.

First, Sheldon removed his life vest and set it across the sand behind him. Then, he removed his shoes and socks, laying his socks over the shoes so they wouldn't touch the ground. Finally, he removed his red Flash tee-shirt, took his socks, and stood. He made his way gingerly across the sandy ground to the trees and inspected them. He needed to find a good limb to hang his things that was both sturdy, and in direct light of the sun. Thankfully, his search was a short one. He was in a forest of potential tree limbs that would fit his requirements. The possibilities were seemingly endless.

Once his laundry was all hung, he removed his wet beige pants. He had to peel them off like a snake skin, one leg after the other. Before hanging the pants out on another limb, he took the emergency epinephrine pen from the right pocket and the wallet from the left, and once he was satisfied, he made his way back to his tote, where he unzipped it and placed the pen and the wallet inside. He couldn't sit down now, not without getting sand and dirt up his crack, so he opted to stand in the sunlight and begin thinking. He had quite a bit to contemplate over.

By the time Penny returned, Sheldon was already working on equations in the air with his finger.

"Penny," he called when he heard her approaching. He did not turn around, but stood there in the warm sun, clad in a long sleeved gray thermal shirt and tighty whities, his arms folded. She couldn't see it, but hanging in the air before him was a delicate equation that would give them all the answers they needed. "Penny, about how long was I asleep on the plane for?"

"Uh, I don't know. About an hour. Why?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he raised his left hand and made an erasing motion in the air, then replaced it with the correct time, drawing it with his finger – sixty minutes. "Huh. Well, that changes everything," he mumbled, going to work filling out the rest of his mathematical problem.

Behind him, he heard Penny drop a bundle of sticks down on the ground. "Whatcha doin' wackadoodle?"

"I'm trying to isolate our exact location."

"Oh." A moment of silence passed as he worked, and then she said, "I see you couldn't wait to get out of your pants."

"They're drying on tree limbs," he defended himself indignantly, giving her a quick glare before returning to the equation. "Perhaps you should do the same, unless you wish to catch cold tonight."

When he was done, Sheldon reviewed the final result. According to the math, they were somewhere between Cleveland and Toronto. Except, that wasn't true. Between Cleveland and Toronto laid water and cities.

"Penny, how long did you say I was asleep for?"

"About an hour, maybe? I don't know."

He turned slowly to meet her gaze. "Are you positive?"

"It was an hour or two. I don't know…"

Sheldon's head drooped and his shoulders slumped. There was no true way to know where they were now. He had told the pilot before boarding how fast he should go and what time they should arrive, but now he doubted the pilot listened to him at all. According to his stopped watch, taking into account it stopped around twenty to thirty minutes ago, they were supposed to have already landed at the airport an hour before.

Just where the _hell_ was that pilot going while Sheldon was asleep?

"C'mon, Sheldon. Let's get a fire going. I didn't gather all this wood for nothing."

The physicist sighed. He almost wished that he could be as oblivious as Penny was to their situation, then at least he wouldn't feel so doomed.

He made his way over to the pile of firewood, which was near the spot he had made in the sand. "We have to make a pit for the fire." He stood still, hands on his hips, and watched her expectantly.

"Okay… Oh, you mean _I_ have to."

"Oh, well, since you're volunteering…"

"Sheldon."

He watched her, inspected her firm stance as well as her irritated expression, and assessed that he would not be getting out of physical labor this time. "Alright," he said, defeated.

Sheldon positioned himself about five feet from where the baseline of the trees started, just a few feet away from the pilot, and got down on his knees. He stretched his arms out over the sand and cupped his hands, his rump up in the air, then pulled the sand toward himself. He repeated the action, stretching out, putting hands on the ground, and pulling sand toward him, until he had a nice dip in the ground. When he stood, he wiped his hands together to shake off any loose dirt and glanced at Penny. When he saw the expression on her face, he did a double-take and asked indifferently, "What?"

Penny's hand was splayed across her chest in a very feminine way, and her face was contorted into a look of extreme amusement. "If only I had a camera," she said.

Sheldon ignored her. "Would you go get some of that firewood?"

Penny brought over enough firewood to get them started and set it by his starkly white bare feet. She removed her life jacket and placed it beside Sheldon's, then took a seat in front of the shallow fire pit across from him. Her jeans and her pink babydoll top were still damp.

"How's he doing?" she asked, nodding toward the pilot.

"Still alive," Sheldon said, digging into his tote for the metal match. He found it, took it, and got to his knees before the pit. "He appears to be okay for now, though, he could have some internal bleeding. No way to tell without cutting him open." He took a tampon out of the box in his survival bag, pushed the cotton out of it, and began pulling the cotton apart until its shape was no longer a bullet but a flat, fluffy square.

"Oh, I see what you're doing," Penny said as Sheldon began arranging the sticks into the pit.

"Very good, Penny. I was beginning to worry you wouldn't catch on at all."

He cut off the string at the end with the jack knife, narrowly avoiding a cut, and set the string inside his survival bag. He took the square of cotton and placed it beside the pile of sticks, then took the little metal rod in one hand and the steel piece in the other. He touched the rod to the cotton and struck it with the steel, and sparks flashed to life. He jumped, screamed, and dropped the tools.

"Penny, you do it."

Penny laughed. She waved her hand toward herself and said, "Okay, give it here."

Sheldon picked up the tools between his forefingers and thumbs, as though afraid sparks would fly out at him if he weren't careful, and handed them to the blonde. She copied what he had did with it to the cotton, and after two strikes, the sparks hit the cotton hot enough and caught flame. She pinched the edge of the cotton and maneuvered it beneath the pile of sticks. Both were silent as they watched the fire slowly come to life.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think anyone will come for us?"

Sheldon took a moment to think over her question. Not knowing where they were made it harder to answer. "I'm sure someone's noticed something amiss by now," he said.

Penny's head dropped. "Do you think they'll find us?"

"Yes," he answered. Of this, he was knew. Surely a search party would know to follow along their original course and scope the area below. As long as he and Penny stayed within sight on the shore and not in the dense forest, they would eventually be spotted. It was only a matter of time.


	3. Seize

Chapter Three  
Seize

Penny laid awake for hours, thinking. Her brain was still trying to wrap around the crash. For some reason, every time she would close her eyes, she saw water in front of the plane rushing up to meet her – a perfect snapshot image in high res and vivid color. Her heart would quicken when this memory came flashing across her eyes, and then she would snap them open, look around at the tips of the trees behind her and the moon obscured by thick wisps of clouds above her, and she would remember, _Oh yeah… I'm here. Stuck in the wilderness. With Sheldon, of all people._

The pilot hadn't moved all day. Penny did what she could to make him comfortable: kept the fire stoked, tucked her life vest beneath his head, and even moved him closer to the fire. She was worried about him. The gash in his head was horrid, and the skin around the wound was swollen and bruised. She tried to convince Sheldon to open one of his MRE's for the man, but Sheldon told her it was possible he wouldn't be waking up any time soon. He said the man appeared to be in a coma. Penny counted herself lucky to have made it out alive with just a pulled muscle in her neck; another reason she could not get comfortable enough to sleep.

She and Sheldon were supposed to call Leonard and the others once the plane touched land. She wondered how worried they were right now, if they had called the police or anything. Amy was probably the most worried. Both her best friend and boyfriend, whom she was both dedicated to unlike anyone else in the world, had disappeared – on a straight flight to Canada, and suddenly, no word or whisper. Just gone. A Twilight Zone episode.

Before the flight, Sheldon had brought Penny into his bedroom to conduct business, as the living room was tied up with Raj, Howard, and Leonard, all watching reruns of Battlestar Galactica. She walked into his darkened room – his vampire lair – and took a seat on the side of his bed. A white board was in the center of the room, as was Sheldon, and a red dry erase marker was in his hand.

"Okay, listen up," he had said, uncapping the marker. "I'm only going over this once. It's new comic book day and we have to leave in twenty minutes. Now…" He positioned himself and began.

He covered safety protocols in the event of a disaster, from an on-board fire to a terrorist attack (he hastily explained that the pilot could be a terrorist, and in that event, they should be prepared). He went over the emergency exits, where the flotation devices were located – which, thanks to him, turned out to be life-saving information that she was actually able to put to use. He covered everything. No, really – _everything_.

Then he sent her on her merry way to pack.

It was a funny sort of situation now. The last thing she had expected was to have to use the information the paranoid physicist crammed in her mind to escape that plane and survive.

She regretted not grabbing her suitcase when they escaped. Truth be told, it was the last thing on her mind at that moment, but was one of the most important things they could have grabbed. Her clothes were in there, her brushes and cute hair accessories in all assortments, soaps and shampoo, a shoe for every outfit, and her iPod. Probably worthless now, but still nice to look at. She regretted not grabbing her purse, either. Her phone had been in there, and even through water damage, she was sure Sheldon would be able to get it working again so they could call for help.

Penny rolled over on her other side, facing the dying fire, and sighed. Not only was it near impossible to find a comfortable position on the ground to sleep, but it was cold, and though mostly dry now, her jeans still felt damp. They had nothing to cover up with, and the fire was so small, it only produced enough heat to tease her. She sat up, grabbed the ends of a few sticks of firewood above her head, and placed them in the fire. Across from it and her, Sheldon slept, not surprisingly, like a vampire, his body straight, lying on his back in a long depression he had dug in the sand, with his hands flat at his sides. She had heard him moving around a half an hour ago and felt bad for him. It was good that he finally managed to fall asleep.

Her eye caught his tote, laying on the other side of him by his head. Her stomach twisted over and growled in response. The MRE's were in there. Sheldon had refused vehemently that they eat them just yet. He said he had only packed three of the instant-meals, because his bag was a 72-hour survival kit, and put together with just him in mind to survive. When Penny asked him how come he didn't make one for her, he hastily defended that he thought she would have had enough common sense to bring her own, especially after the lengthy lesson on the dangerous of flying. He would not allow them to open one until tomorrow.

Her stomach rolled over with a defeated growl. She let her breath out her mouth in a rush and laid back down on the sand, scooting a little closer to the fire.

A very small part of her wanted to cry. She was tired, cold, frustrated…lost. Sheldon assured her they would be found, but deep down inside, her mind was already made up. She knew no one was coming for them. Why? Because when they got on that small plane, she had no idea they would crash. And now that they were stranded somewhere in another country, new and unfamiliar, she knew that the small chance Sheldon thought they had of being undiscovered would happen. _If you can crash a plane_, she thought, _you can be lost in a forest._

Penny heard movement below her, and just off her range of vision, she could see something was happening. She looked down and sat up. At her feet beside the fire, the pilot was moving – no, not just moving; jerking.

_No_, Penny realized in horror, _seizing_.

"Shel-_don_!" she cried, her voice turning from calm to panic. She got up and crashed to her knees beside Sheldon's head and began shaking him, saying his name repeatedly. "Sheldon! _Sheldon!_"

The physicist sat up straight like a robot and said, "Danger! Danger!"

"Sheldon, help!" Penny screamed, still shaking him. "C'mon, get up – you have to do something!"

"Penny? What…" And then out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the pilot twitching and flipping about violently. He rose to his feet and Penny released him from her death-grip.

"Do something!" she cried. She clapped her hands over her mouth as tears began streaming down her face. She didn't want to look at him, but for some reason her eyes were glued to the pilot's shaking, jerking form.

Sheldon went to the man's side and knelt down. He grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over on his side.

"Don't let him swallow his tongue!"

"A common misconception," Sheldon replied. "One cannot simply swallow one's tongue-"

"Sheldon, just _help_ him – I'm scared, I've never been through this before," she said, circling around behind him. "Just tell me what to do and I'll help."

"Here, keep him on his side."

Penny knelt in front of the pilot and placed a hand on his jerking shoulder. Sheldon let go of him immediately and wiped his hand on his pants. Somewhere in the back of Penny's mind, she was slightly offended by the gesture, but the current happenings were the main concern, and she pushed the feeling away.

Hot tears still flowed freely down her cheeks despite her silenced cries, and she absently wiped at her face with the back of her hand. "I just hold him here?"

"I think you can let go now," Sheldon said, "just make sure he stays on his side until the episode is over."

She let go. His legs were splayed out, left over the right, and his left arm hung over his stomach. The smell of offal permeated her nostrils, and she covered her nose with her hands in alarm. _Oh my God, he just shit himself…_

Her instinct was to back away, but she froze. She had heard when people die, their muscles relax and their bowels released – a terrible but natural part of death. She never thought someone having a seizure could. It alarmed her. To have it happening right now, right in front of her, was overwhelming on a whole new scale.

She needed distance. She pushed herself away promptly and fell on her backside, then crawled back a few feet. She looked helplessly at Sheldon. He was trained on the pilot, his eyes dark and intense in the firelight.

Finally, the pilot's body went limp, and Penny stared at him for the longest time, expecting him to move again. He didn't.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" she asked Sheldon meekly.

"Given the circumstances…no. Until either help arrives, or he meets an untimely demise, there is nothing we can do."


	4. Missa pro defunctis

_**A/N:**__ Hope you like the Fight Club reference!_

* * *

Chapter Four  
_Missa pro defunctis_

The pilot's name was Bob Paulson. He passed away that morning as the sun was rising out above the trees to the east, while Penny slept fretfully by the last embers of the fire. Sheldon was unsure of Bob Paulson's exact time of death, but knew it wasn't long before Sheldon had awakened, as the pilot's skin was still a bit warm to the touch.

Now they had quite a dilemma. To bury him, or not to bury him – that was indeed the question. They couldn't just throw him into the lake, as it was an unsanitary solution to their problem. They would need to drink that very water soon; after being purified, of course. Also, the pilot's family may want his remains taken back home.

If they didn't bury him, he would not only begin to decompose, but his body would become a potential all-you-can-eat buffet to the local wildlife, and there was plenty of reasons why Sheldon didn't want that kind of attention near them. Canada's wilds were home to a number of species: _Canis latrans, _the coyote;_ Lynx canadensis, _the Canadian Lynx; and _Ursus americanus,_ the fearsome black bear, to name a few. They couldn't afford to compromise the area, not when they had to stay there and wait to be rescued.

He could see only one option: bury the body and let the rescue crew dig it back up to be taken home.

Right now, the sun was hidden behind the forest of trees behind him. Until it was higher in the sky, he couldn't measure what time it was, but from his biological clock, he guessed it to be around 6:30 in the morning. Already, he was feeling the withdrawals of his normal schedule, where he would awaken at 6:15 on the dot, as he had every Saturday morning for years, pour a bowl of cereal with a quarter cup of 2% milk, sit in his spot, turn on BBC America, and watch Dr. Who.

His morning bowel movements were always on time at 7:00. This morning, however, he doubted he would be blessed with such thing.

In any case, the conclusion as to what to do with Bob Paulson's body was decided. He would be buried as soon as possible. There was still one more thing to ponder, however, and that was the division of the MREs. There were only three, as his survival kit only included himself (why hadn't Penny brought her own? What sane person wouldn't?). To undertake the enormous task of moving and burying the body, they would need sustenance for the energy required. Sheldon could share one MRE with Penny, but that would only give them each 600 calories to burn off of for the rest of that morning. Sheldon required exactly 1,980 calories per day (multiply body weight by ten; add double body weight to its value; i.e., 165lbs.x10 = 1,650lbs.+165x2) to maintain a stable weight and energy consumption, so he would need much more than just 600 calories. He would have to have one MRE to himself, and Penny would have to have the second.

He added a mental note: _be sure to include the possibility of having to survive with another person when preparing a disaster survival kit._

Now, that would leave them with just one MRE to eat. If they consumed it for dinner that night, they would have nothing for tomorrow, their appointed day of rescue. He would have to think on this some more later, he reminded himself. Right now, there was the matter of breakfast to attend to.

Sheldon had been standing by the campfire while he pondered these things, looking out over the lake. He turned now and looked at Penny, whom was curled up in a ball, her brows furrowed. He wondered if she was having a bad dream. He decided not to wake her, recalling her previous at home rule – not stopping by and waking her up before eleven in the morning.

This meant they would have a late start in proceeding with the burial. This agitated Sheldon – part of the day would be wasted waiting for Penny to awaken, and he had always preferred to utilize every minute of every day.

Instead of waking Penny and chancing a punch to the throat, Sheldon opted to have breakfast first. According to his regular schedule at home, he was quite late. He tried not to let these little facts, no matter how much like buzzing mosquitoes they were, get to him. This was a time of disaster, and he would need to let go of his home habits if he had any hope to survive.

Sheldon knelt before his 72-hour disaster survival bag and opened it. He took out an MRE. _Better this than nothing at all,_ he had to remind himself, and proceeded to take his place before the remains of the fire to begin preparation of his meal.

A basic MRE consisted of an entrée, a side dish, a piece of hard bread or crackers, dessert, and a flameless ration heater. Sheldon took up the ration heater and began making his entrée, which was spaghetti in meat sauce. He did not use the directions, as he felt he didn't need them – and he was ultimately right in his assumption. Assembling the meal was child's play.

Penny began to stir awake just as he started eating. In the back of his mind, he made another obscure note: _Penny's sense of smell just may be above average, or higher. Must test this._

"Is that…food?" Penny asked sleepily, rubbing at the corners of her eyes as she rose.

"Yes. You're welcome to one MRE for the morning. We have a lot of work ahead of us."

"Sure we do." When Penny was sat all the way up, she spotted the pilot and appeared to freeze up. She took a long, horrified moment to stare before turning."Sheldon…"

"Yes, Penny?"

"Is he…dead?"

"Yes. He died sometime before I woke up."

Penny screamed, her hands flying up beside her face, and she kicked away from the body toward the tree line behind her. When she had gained enough distance, she covered her mouth with both hands and sat quietly, staring at the pilot with wide eyes. Sheldon found himself to be confused.

"Penny, why are you alarmed?"

"He's dead!" she cried. "You're just sitting there eating like everything's fine, and there's a dead body four feet in front of you!"

"Not as though he'll mind now," Sheldon said, and took his first bite of the spaghetti. It wasn't bad. Not at all real Italian, like his mom used to make, but acceptable.

"I can't believe you," she said softly. She turned to Sheldon and waved at the pilot's body. "Does that really not phase you?"

"He is dead, Penny. Are you saying I should cease to eat because this man is dead?"

Penny shook her head, covered her face with both hands, and then slowly moved her hands across her face to the back of her head. "Just…never mind Sheldon."

Sheldon did a titled nod. "Alright."

He continued to eat. Penny got up and went to his bag and retrieved an MRE. She sat down beside and slightly behind Sheldon, far away from the pilot on the other side of the campfire. While she attempted to prepare her food, Sheldon thought back to his previous quandary: the last MRE.

"Penny, it appears we have only one MRE left."

"Okay." She was watching the body warily as she worked to open the entrée packet. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"You don't understand." Sheldon turned around by a few degrees to face more toward Penny. "One MRE is not enough to fully fuel each of us for one day, but it is possible to make due with just one. Tomorrow, however, we only have one to share."

"So, we find something else to eat," she said.

Knowledge flooded his mind. Like a dam wall bursting, he began to think of and categorize everything having to do with Canada's forests. Out of the trees and shrubs, there were pinophyta, the conifers; cedars, Douglas-firs, cypresses, firs, junipers, kauri, larches, pines, hemlocks, redwoods, spruces, and yews. And of course, magnoliophyta, the broadleaves, of which there were too many to count. And still Sheldon's mind recalled them all, whether he wanted to or not. There were all manner of moss and lichen, berries and brush, and this is not to mention the wildlife in the area.

Once all facts were drawn and classified, his mind began to sort them out; edible and non-edible. He then calculated what food would be possible to get and what wouldn't.

From the time Penny had last spoke until Sheldon had finished compiling his list, only a second had passed.

"There is a plethora of flora and fauna to choose from. Of the edible, there are raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, and morel mushrooms. Many other berries, roots, and bulbs can be eaten, as well, but I lack knowledge of which are safe to eat and which are deadly."

Penny stayed silent while she struggled with the directions on her MRE. Sheldon was by no means an expert at reading people, but he had lived around and hung out with Penny long enough to know when something was amiss. He took a moment to study her. Her high arching brows were furrowed, her full lips drawn in, and her movements were off. She usually walked about with a graceful clumsiness, but now, as he watched her succeed in opening the entrée pack with her teeth and spit the thin line of plastic out of her mouth, he saw that she was stiff, her movements jerky. Something was wrong. The question was, what?

"Penny, I sense there is something bothering you," he said, gathering up the contents of his own MRE. It came with matches, and a hard piece of bread and peanut butter spread, which he would save as a snack for later, and the matches for emergencies. He also would set aside the fruity drink packet for another day, perhaps tomorrow, in celebration of being rescued. For now, they needed water.

"It's nothing," Penny replied, staring hard at the ration heater packet. As she read the directions, her mouth moved along with the words. The scene brought to mind the image of a first grader learning to read.

"Alright. I'll take your word for it." He put the bread, drink pack, and matches in his bag.

"Oh, screw it," she spat, throwing down the ration heater and letting her head fall back. "Sheldon, I'm pissed. I'm pissed because I know we're not going to get rescued."

"You don't know that for certain," he said, the inflection in his voice raising. "When searching for a missing person, search parties are formed and made to comb the entire area in a specific grid pattern. By my calculations, we should be found today, not tomorrow."

"Yeah, in Sheldon Land, I'm sure."

"Penny," he began, crossing his arms, "I am a highly regarded theoretical physicist with a masters and two doctorates. They will come for us."

"Of course, because no one in their right mind would allow a beautiful mind like yours waste away in a forest."

"Exactly," he said, his face relaxing. "I have come to a similar conclusion, myself."

Penny groaned and put her hands on her head. "Sheldon, you're impossible."

"Not impossible, Penny; _improbable_."

"_Whatever_."

. . .

. . .

Once they had eaten, Sheldon brought up the matter of burying Bob Paulson.

"Now, we'll have to take turns," he explained, while Penny sat cross-legged, listening to him. "One of us must remain here at all times in case a search copter comes. The other will go to a chosen spot further in the forest and dig. We can switch places every hour."

"Okay. Who goes first?"

Sheldon dropped his head in thought, then looked back up again. "We'll rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock for it."

"Sheldon… I'm not doing that."

"Penny, it's easy." Sheldon cleared his throat, brought up his hands, and began. "Scissors cut paper, paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock. Spock-"

"-_Sheldon_!" Penny yelled. When she had his full attention, she said, "We're not doing that stupid game. Here…" She hurried over toward the water and began picking up medium-sized rocks.

"What are you doing?"

"If we get enough rocks, we can make a big S.O.S. sign."

Sheldon stood still for a moment, then nodded. "A good idea. Your cleverness sometimes surprises me."

"Oh, shut up and help me…"

The two went to work. Sheldon chose the outer part of the big curve in the cove they were at as the perfect spot, a good sixty feet to the right of their campfire. They gathered only the darker rocks so that it would stand out against the white sand. At last they were finished, and once they were ready, they headed into the forest together.

Some of the trees were thick and tall; old. Most of them appeared to be evergreens. They walked steadily straight, further and further in until they could look back and no longer see the shore and the water in between the trees. They continued on, but soon Sheldon stopped them.

"We don't want to head too far in. You'll be carrying him, so we don't want to go further than you can travel with the added weight."

"Ah, excuse me Dr. Cooper," Penny interjected with a finger pointed at him. "You mean we. _We_ are going to carry him. I am not doing this alone."

"Penny, I can't touch him – he's dead."

"You were fine enough to eat in front of him, what's the difference?"

"The difference is, while it is a common misconception that dead bodies carry diseases, he is slowly decomposing as we speak, and I can't touch something that is in any stage of decomposition."

Penny fell quiet, then pursed her lips. "What about meat? When you have your Tuesday hamburger, that meat is dead."

"It is kept sealed in a freezer unit and prepared immediately. I can eat cooked meat. It's when it starts to expire that I won't touch it." He gave a little frown. "Ask Leonard, I will not eat leftovers. It is up to him to either finish it, or throw it out."

"God, you're so weird."

The two continued forward, walking carefully over old pine needles and along side thick bushes. Eventually, they reached an open area roughly half the length and width of a football field.

_Football field._

A memory came and passed in Sheldon's mind: he sitting at one end of the couch, his father at the other, yelling at their old 26 inch Panasonic color TV with the broken volume button. He pushed it away and came back to the task at hand.

The area they had found seemed perfect. There were less pines here and more leaf-bearing trees; a few oaks mostly.

"Where should we bury him?"

Sheldon looked around. He would have to cover the ground, testing the soil with the tip of his shoe to find the right place. "Give me twenty minutes."

He went to step forward, but Penny put a firm hand flat against his chest and stopped him. "Just bury him here."

"Penny, we must test the ground for the right spot-"

"-Listen. I have a faster way." She took her left hand and held it horizontal before her, palm up, and balled her right hand into a fist and laid it vertically on top of the left.

Sheldon's brow rose. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?"

"If I win, we bury him right here where we're standing."

"Alright." Sheldon copied Penny's hand positions. "It still would be a lot easier to determine an easier spot to dig than to just pick a spot willy-nilly."

"Shut up, let's get this over with."

Together, they began the chant, hitting their fists into their palms with every word. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" Penny's hand formed the shape of a lizard head. Sheldon's mouth parted in disbelief as he looked from her lizard, to his Spock.

"How did you know I was going to choose Spock?"

"Let's just say, I know the crazy Dr. Wackadoodle better than he thinks," she said with a grin.

Now that it was settled, they headed back the way they came. Sheldon already knew the way by heart – his eidetic memory allowed him to see a picture of what he had seen before in near perfect clarity. Every tree they passed, he knew to be the one they had walked by on the way there.

While they walked, they gathered more firewood. Sheldon explained his plan to Penny for their remaining nights there on the cove (of which they would only spend one more, he knew, but he used the plural form to keep Penny from arguing with him further – oh, if only she knew of the things he had to do in order to accommodate her into his life). They would take turns staying up and tending to the fire once darkness fell, so that if an aircraft passed overhead, they would see the fire below and find them. Penny agreed, and the subject was dropped.

They made it back to the cove. That's when Penny got an idea. Sheldon was, once again, quietly impressed by her for the second time that day.

"Why don't we make like a gurney thing? We could pull him." She put down her bundle of firewood and crossed her arms. "It'd be easier than carrying him, and you wouldn't have to touch him."

Sheldon's mouth pursed sideways in thought. "Alright. We'll need suitable equipment: branches, string, and something to support the body."

One of Penny's arms untangled from being crossed and she pointed a finger, palm up. "We don't have string, do we?"

"Just a tampon string."

"We could use the vests to put in between the branches, tie the belts around them instead of using string. The only thing we need to do is find the branches."

"Excellent idea, Penny. I'll see you when you get back."

Sheldon prepared himself to sit and start the fire, but he felt Penny's presence behind him and hesitated. One manicured hand reached behind him beneath his armpit and yanked him up. Sheldon stumbled to his feet.

"You're coming with me. And no, we can't rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock for it, because you're going to choose Spock and I'll win every time, so come on."

They split up into the forest, but stayed within shouting distance. Every few minutes, Sheldon would hear a call from Penny: "Marco!" And as much as he didn't want to say such a silly thing, he always replied with a begrudging, "Polo!"

There were many sticks, twigs, and branches, but Sheldon passed them by without so much as a second thought. He was on a mission. They would need to find two sticks roughly the exact thickness and length, sturdy enough to carry a two hundred pound man against them. Every time he found a potential, he would pick it up, examine its length and hold it at eye level to gauge its straightness and circumference, and having found another failure, toss it back to the ground. His hands were streaked with dirt from the day's events, and he tried his best not to think about it.

Soon, there was another "Marco!", and he followed it with another "Polo!". His Vulcan hearing approximated her distance from him. She was coming closer now.

He continued his search scrupulously, and when Penny called again, she was much closer. He answered her back, and within a few minutes, she appeared through the trees, carefully treading the ground in her black and gray flats. She had two nicely sized branches in her arms, both of which Sheldon Cooper would have personally passed up – one was gnarled, and the other ridden with limbs.

"Penny," he began, clasping his hands behind his back and looking down. He looked back up with a stern expression. "Did you give no thought to this?"

"Uh. Yeah. I found two branches."

"Did you test their strength? Their flexibility?"

"Sheldon, they're fine. Come on, let's go."

She began walking off. Sheldon stopped her with the clearing of his throat. "You're going the wrong way."

"Oh. Well, you lead."

"Very well."

Sheldon decided to give up on convincing Penny to find better-suited branches. It was simply not in him to argue today. Already, he had missed Dr. Who, failed to evacuate his bowls, and could feel the beginnings of dehydration tightening his sensitive skin.

When they sat back down at the camp, Penny took the two-bladed jack knife from the tote and set to work immediately with trimming the extra limbs off the branches – and _again_, Sheldon was impressed. He took a moment to think about it while he took out another tampon to start the fire. _Must be her Nebraskan upbringing,_ he figured. _And perhaps a bit of boy scout training._ He smiled to himself. The ideas, the taking initiative – it looked good on her. Perhaps Penny wasn't the simpleton he once thought. She just needed a bit of guidance was all.

While Penny set to work on her task, Sheldon went over to the dark blue tote to begin his. He took out the thirteen gallon trash bag and the water purification tablets. He only required one – they were calcium hypochlorite-based chlorine tablets, 0.5gm, and could treat up to 20 liters of water, which, by Sheldon's computer-speed calculations, was 5.283 US gallons. The irritating part was that he had no way to exactly measure 5.283 gallons of water. He would have to "eye it", as Leonard so often did when performing his experiments.

"What's the trash bag for? So we don't litter while we're here?"

Sheldon turned. Penny's face held a look of amusement, but Sheldon didn't find it very amusing. "It's for water."

"That's weird. Never would have thought of that."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have."

"Hey!" Penny glared at him, hurt.

"Now, in your defense, I didn't think of it either. I got the information from a survival website. They're light, foldable, waterproof and can be used as containers. Versatile products are imperative when in a survival situation."

He wasn't sure if this made her feel any better, but her hostile expression did start to melt away. She held up the long, thick branch in her hand and continued to peel the stray limbs from it with the knife. "Isn't drinking lake water unsafe?"

"Highly," Sheldon said. "Lakes and rivers are hosts to all types of bacteria and parasites. _Naegleria fowleri _can enter your nostrils, resulting in necrosis of the olfactory bulbs. From there, the amoeba climbs along nerve fibers through the floor of the cranium and into the brain-"

"-_Whoa_, Sheldon. Thank you for that nightmare…"

"Well, that's not to say anything about the Ogopogo."

Penny stopped, put the knife at her side, and looked at him sideways. "What?"

"The Ogopogo, or Naitaka – 'lake demon' – is the name given to a cryptid lake monster in Okanagan Lake."

"Are you serious?"

"There have been sightings from the First Nations people since the nineteenth century. Of course, we may not be anywhere near Okanagan Lake…but it never hurts to play it safe, as my mother always said."

"Huh…" Penny rested her elbow across her knee, the knife clutched loosely in her hand. "Kinda like the Loch Ness Monster."

"…Yes, only serpentine such as a basilosaurus, whereas Nessie is believed to be a long-surviving plesiosaur."

Penny gave a perky little smile. "You know, I always learn something from you."

Sheldon's dark brows rose. "Given your community college-level knowledge, I encourage you to learn everything you can from me." He turned and headed for the water, leaving Penny gaping.


	5. Burials, Bees, and Beyond

_**A/N:** HUGE thank you to _nertooold54_ for pointing out something very important in the story. If it were not for your advice, I would have given up on this story altogether. And an even bigger thank you to all the readers/reviewers/followers - there is no true way to show my gratitude for you all, but I suppose staying with this story and finishing it is a good way to start!_

* * *

Chapter Five  
Burials, Bees, and Beyond

When Penny was finished with the two branches, she looked at her work with a sense of pride. She wasn't useless after all. She looked over to Sheldon, whom stood knee-deep in the water, his pants rolled up above his knobby knees and a trash bag in his hands.

"Sheldon, you've been doing that for like an hour… When will you be done?"

"For your information, it's only been about twenty three minutes. And I will be done once it looks like it's holding just above five gallons of water."

Penny shook her head. There was something wrong with that man. She got up, placed the branches parallel to each other, and grabbed her life vest. She placed it between the branches and took a moment to think. She could snap the vest together so that the branches were inside, but that seemed like too narrow a bed to support the body. She looked at the straps on it. Maybe she could tie the straps onto the stick, so that the vest was all the way open? That seemed a good idea as ever. She sat down in the sand and set to work.

It didn't take her long. Once the straps were all knotted around the branches, she grabbed Sheldon's life jacket and did the same. When she was finished, she guessed that it really had been an hour since Sheldon got in the water now, and she spun in place and watched him with her hands on her hips. He was gently scooping up a little bit of water at a time, weighing it, eying it, and then scooping in some more.

"Sheldon, are you almost done?"

"Just about as done as I can get," he mumbled, focused on his task.

"Do you need my help?" she asked, approaching the shoreline.

Sheldon wrapped the bag up and leaned away from her, appalled. "Do you even know how to measure liquids?"

"Sheldon…" Penny crossed her arms and frowned. "Could you please just hurry it up? I think you're as close as you can get to it being perfect."

"Alright, alright…" Sheldon took the neck of the trash bag in two fists and began pulling it over the top of the water, raising it up higher once he got closer to shore. Penny backed away to give him room as he came on land. "Be a lamb and dig out a hole in the sand to set this in."

"Roger," Penny said, and she went to the campfire to do as he instructed. Once their was a nice impression in the sand for the bag, Sheldon placed it in the shallow hole and put a chlorine tablet into the water. "How long until we can drink it?"

"About an hour," Sheldon said, tying the top of the bag off in a loose knot.

Penny groaned. "You shoulda just let me do the water part. I could have done it _and_ put together the gurney in less time than it woulda took you to make up your mind on something."

Sheldon snorted derisively. "Please, as if you knew what 5.283 gallons of water looked like."

While they waited, they gathered more firewood for later, and together, they hauled the body onto the makeshift gurney (Sheldon holding the legs, refusing to have contact with skin). Penny was still appalled by the death of the pilot. It depressed her every time she looked at him, made her think just how fragile the human body really was. It made her shiver. It made her not want to think about it.

They shared the water, sipping it through empty plastic tampon applicators. Sheldon was, of course, revolted by the idea of backwash from both of them re-contaminating it, but they had no other way. Once the water hit his mouth, he drank greedily and didn't speak on the matter any further.

The two of them prepared mentally for the arduous task of hauling the pilot, and when they were ready, Penny grabbed the top two branch ends near the head and Sheldon grabbed the bottom ones, and together they began into the forest. They didn't make it two steps past the first tree before Sheldon called for a break, panting.

"I can't do this Penny," he said.

"Sheldon, we barely moved!"

"I have minor asthma Penny, I don't do well in sporting events or tasks that require physical demands." He breathed deeply a few times and gave her a pleading look.

"Come on Sheldon, just _try_."

And so they continued on, stopping every twenty steps or so to give Sheldon a break. By the time they reached the designated clearing, Sheldon's shirt was sporting sweat stains beneath his arms and on the crest of his chest. Penny was also feeling the icky stickiness of sweat at the bottom of her bra line, but knew it was just the beginning. They still had to dig.

"Okay," she began, putting her hands on her hips. "How do we do this?" She looked to Sheldon, but his head was cranked back, his deep blue eyes assessing the skies.

"We're not going to have enough time," he said.

"Not if we stand here talking about it," she countered.

He focused his eyes on her. "We need to find a tool to dig with. A pointed stick, perhaps."

"Did you bring the pocket knife?"

"No."

Penny shrugged. "Then I guess we'll have to make do with what we find."

Penny went back into the woods without another thought. She searched around the forest floor for two thick, sharp branches, all the while thinking of home, of all their friends, of how crushed Amy was and how worried Leonard felt. Images of the painting Amy had done of them together pushed its way into Penny's mind, followed by poor Leonard showing up at her doorstep, confused when she embraced him and pushed her lips to his. They weren't dating anymore, but whenever she thought of him, her brain would always recall those little romantic moments that left him stunned. She missed home. She missed them all.

When she returned to the clearing, Sheldon had traveled to the other end of it, testing the ground with the tip of his shoe. He looked up, and she waved the two branches to him to signal her return. She watched him make his way toward her, noting the way he walked, cautiously and slightly hunched, like a little kid who was afraid to walk down the halls of his school.

"I've covered some of the ground while you were gone," he said, stopping in front of her.

"And?"

"I think the spot you chose was the best choice after all."

Penny smiled. "You can't say I'm not lucky."

His eyebrow rose. "Given the circumstances, I'd say neither of us have much of that right now. Your find was pure coincidence."

They set to work, one at a time, Penny going first. She broke her stick on the first try, and after liberating Sheldon's short branch, she tried again, shoving the point into the ground and pulling up and toward her in one motion.

"You're doing it wrong."

"Shut up, I am not." She turned and looked at him, offended. "How could I possibly be digging wrong?"

"Grasp the branch closer to the middle, or near the bottom," he said. "It won't break. Simple physics, Penny."

Penny groaned a quick whatever and did as he said, holding the branch closer to the middle as she dug. She wasn't sure if it would break or not, but it didn't seem to be breaking now, so she accepted it and kept working. Behind her, Sheldon made a noncommittal, "Hm..."

"What?" she asked, jabbing the stick into the ground and pulling it back toward her.

"At this rate, we won't be done by nightfall."

"We can't dig at night?" she asked, stopping to wipe at her forehead with the back of her hand. She was really wishing she had her suitcase right about now. She'd kill for a hair band or a scrunchie, _something_ to get her long locks out of her face while she worked.

"Absolutely not! Think Penny; no light, wild animals..."

The man had a point. Without light, they would have to fumble through the dark to get back to their camp. Even so, who knew what lurked in the shadows of the woods at night? The smell of the body might attract the sort of attention they wouldn't want.

Then she thought of the pilot's family. Maybe he had a wife, a son, and a mother behind, all sick with worry over him, wondering where he was and if he would make it out okay. She thought of them being disgusted with her for not trying to give the man's body a peaceful place of rest, for just leaving him on the ground in the cold night air to be picked apart by savage wild animals. She couldn't live with herself if she just up and left. She had to try.

"What if I try to go faster?"

"Depends on how fast you can go, whether or not you can keep up the pace."

It was decided. She thrust the pointed end of the branch into the ground and pulled back and up, loosening the soil. In the back of her mind, a tiny voice nagged her;_ Your jeans are going to get ruined – these are your favorite pair! What about you're shoes? Can you really sit back and let a perfectly good pair of flats get stained?_

She ignored everything and kept digging.

. . .

. . .

It wasn't until around what Sheldon judged to be three in the afternoon that Penny started feeling both dead inside and out, and completely ravenous. She had used up all her energy digging the first hour or so. For the rest, she was running on willpower alone. Even Sheldon had made a comment on it.

"You may have the potential to wield a Green Lantern ring, Penny."

Penny, by that time, was smudged here and there with dirt and the knees of her jeans were brown. "Why do you say that?"

"Because, you keep going in the face of overwhelming odds, and it only fuels you to keep going. More Lanterns should have that quality."

Penny turned and smiled at him. "Sheldon, was that a compliment?"

"If you take it that way, then yes, I suppose it could be."

"D'aww..." Penny's smile widened into a grin. She blew him a kiss, of which he animatedly ducked away from and shook his head, and she returned to work, still grinning.

As Penny stopped now and stepped out of the little two-foot deep hole, she looked over her work and smiled. "Not bad for a former member of the Corn Queen's Court." She tossed her head back, flipping her now stringy hair away from her face, and looked at Sheldon. "It's your turn."

"Yes. I'm aware of that."

"Then what are you doing just staring at it?" Penny thrust the branch at him. "Start digging."

Sheldon looked down at his own pants, obviously upset by the dirt stains on them and his hands, and hesitantly accepted the stick. "Fine. But just so you know, this is fruitless. We won't have a hole big enough for him by nightfall."

"You have no faith," she said.

"You have no solid sense of logic," he quipped back, positioning himself over the hole to begin digging.

Penny inspected the ground for any sticks or rocks before she sat down, sprawling her legs out and locking her arms out behind her. She tilted her head back and let the sun's rays kiss her dirty, sweaty skin, wishing now more than ever for a hot bath. The lake water was cold, just about to the point of unbearable, as it was still spring – but it would have to do.

A little honey bee buzzing around Sheldon's elbow caught her eye. She seemed determined to inspect him as he worked, flying in close, darting away when his elbows bent and moved.

"Hey Moon Pie, watch out for that bee."

Immediately, Sheldon stumbled out of the hole, swinging his stick wildly. "Penny! Help!"

Penny sat up, her shoulders tensing. "What's wrong?"

Sheldon's eyes locked on the bee and he swung downward at it. By chance of luck, his aim was true, and the connection with the branch sent the bee down to the ground. He inched closer and inspected the ground fearfully. "Where did it go? Penny, you have to find out where it went. You have to kill it!"

She stood and brushed off her bottom. "What has gotten into you? It's just a bee."

Sheldon's jaw clenched and his whole body moved with his frustrated sigh. "You don't understand. I'm allergic. If I get stung, I will go into anaphylactic shock and – _ow_!"

He smacked at his left arm and cried out, then stared at it in horror. Penny jumped into action, rushing to his side to scrape the tip of the barb out of his skin. Once she had it out, she looked at him, her heart racing. He looked completely shocked and out of it.

"Sheldon, what do I do?"

"M-my EpiPen," he stammered, beginning to hyperventilate. "It's at the c-camp."

She grabbed his hand and started running, leaving the body, the hole they'd dug, and the dying bee on the ground far behind them. Hot tears lined her eyes, but not enough to fall. She pressed on, practically dragging him as he stumbled behind her, wheezing in puffs of breaths.

Before long, Penny could see the water sparkling lazily between the trees. Just a little bit further...

Sheldon's hand slipped from hers. She turned as he fell to the ground, holding his stomach.

"Sheldon!" she cried, rushing to his side. His face was beat-red, and his lips appeared slightly swollen. It wasn't hard to figure out that he was having extreme difficulty breathing. "C'mon, you gotta get up!"

Without further hesitation, she grabbed his arms and pulled. Her arms screamed at her, tired and nearly limp from all the digging. She gritted her teeth and dug the tips of her flats into the bed of pine needles and dirt, yanking him toward her with each step. When she was close enough, she dropped his arms and dashed toward their campsite, where the little blue tote awaited her. She slid to a stop in the sand and grabbed the bag, digging through it until she found something that looked like a fat marker. That had to be it. She spun around and dashed back into the forest, dodging trees and leaping over brush and branches, and stopped at Sheldon's side. Big, red welts covered his arms. His lips were twice the size of what they were.

"Sheldon, what do I do?" she asked, surprised at how shrill her voice sounded to her.

He grunted, wheezing badly, and slapped clumsily at his thigh.

Penny inspected the pen. There was a gray cap on the end. She popped it off and tossed it, now holding the pen in her fist. "Do I just stab you? I don't know what to do!"

Sheldon nodded his head, his fist clutching at his heart.

Penny inhaled shakily and hit his thigh with the pen. Sheldon's swollen hand hovered over hers and came down on it, keeping it there. A tear dropped from her chin. Since when did she start crying? She sniffled and waited, anticipation heavy in the air. Then Sheldon's hand fell from hers and his head rolled to the side. He was out.

"...Sheldon?" she asked, watching his disfigured face for any sign of movement. She pulled the pen upward and looked at the thick, hollow needle on the end, then dropped it and covered her mouth with both hands. Her eyes came back to Sheldon, whom was still limp and lifeless.

"Sheldon?" she repeated, crawling closer up to him until her knees were against his ribs. She shook him. He didn't respond. "Sheldon?" she asked again, this time more desperately. She moved her hair to the side of her neck and placed and ear over his chest. His heartbeat was there, but very erratic. His chest didn't move, though. She moved her ear up toward his face and hovered over his nose and mouth. He wasn't breathing.

"Oh God!" she cried. Her hands trembled as she tilted his head back and pinched his nose. She brought her mouth to his swollen lips and closed down on them, giving him two deep breaths. She then put her ear just over his nose and mouth and waited to hear him breath.

"Oh God, oh God!" she cried again. This was too much. First the pilot, now Sheldon was dying, and they were hundreds of miles away from civilization. Death surrounded her like a thick shadow – when would she be next?

She shook all doubt from her mind as another wave of tears trickled down her dirt stained cheeks. She took a deep breath, pinched his nose again, and pushed the air into his lungs, twice.

She waited for a sign.

Nothing.

She pinched his nose again, covered his mouth with hers, and blew hard, then repeated the action. Sheldon's chest clenched, then filled with air on its own. He began breathing, though it was strained and constricted, and Penny collapsed over his chest with handfuls of his red Flash shirt in her trembling fists, crying.

* * *

_Edit: I'm very sorry - I completely forgot to mention... For the next chapter, it can go one of two ways: really long and slightly boring (still some good stuff in there, though), or short, exciting, and to the point. Which would you guys prefer, the longer version, or the shorter version? It's also heavily littered with Star Trek references, so I think fans of the original series might prefer the longer version...that's all I can say without giving anything away!_


End file.
